Quiet intimacies

To see people and to be seen.

I love discovering things on the internet. Sometimes new, but often centered around my interests – films and cinema, history, documentaries, music production, photography, architecture… But in all of it, it’s the idea of learning something new that I really enjoy, finding beauty in something, even if very little, in my environment, my life, my work, the world at large.

At my core, I think that’s also a result of my constant curiosity, which has made me into a lifelong learner. Staying curious feels fundamental to who I am at this point in my life, though in truth, it has always been there. My earliest memories as a child were coloured by that instinct to explore, to ask, to understand.

For the earlier parts of my life, I was mostly self-curious, discovering and learning things on my own. But meeting people and having friends who are also as passionate about other things feels like a constant mutual fuel for new learnings, which I really cherish.

To discover, to share, to receive, knowing fully that we will all get to appreciate that share, is a somewhat beautiful thing to have in life. Sharing not only because it’s my thing, but also because I know someone else will resonate deeply with it as well.

There’s also a warmth I feel in discovering something on the internet and knowing which friend I can share it with who also resonates with it. I find it fascinating that pieces of myself and things I love are embodied in my friends, even though these pieces are diverse and sometimes completely unrelated.

Like when I see something on design philosophy or a random physics topic, I can share with Gboyega and him with me. Gboyega is someone I find really interesting. He’s so multifaceted in very unrelated, broad topics. We could go from talking about random stuff in quantum physics to history, to design, to films, or even philosophy. Because of him, I’ve also listened to random podcasts on Carl Jung, which I find quite enlightening. I also got into audio dramas, starting with The Left Right Game by Tessa Thompson he shared with me in 2019. I’ve never forgotten that experience.

And there’s China, sending me articles like the New York Times’ “An Ode to a Humble Balcony,” knowing I’ll like it too. Or us sharing a fascination with the passion that drives athletes. Or me sending an old Kanye clip because I know how much she appreciates the genius in the music production. Watching Dead Poets Society and Before Sunrise, and knowing she’ll love them for the originality and depth of the stories, is also something we both truly value.

Then there’s Kachi, sending me random short film snippets he finds online because he knows how much we both appreciate cinema – not just the film in itself, but the art behind it, the music, the raw expressions in the characters, the full embodiment of the roles, the story. Or him sharing Softer Volumes because of my passion for photography. And the sharing of videos of 3D-printed objects on Instagram, something he’s become deeply invested in lately, ever since he got his own 3D printer and started making anything he imagines. It’s bxeautiful seeing how he uses those printed objects in his space: as plant pots, battery holders, cable organizers for his workspace setup, and even a paper-towel holder. I admire the blend of creativity and functionality.

What’s also beautiful to see is how Lara fuels my curiosity in ways that feel natural and reciprocal. She bought me a World War II visual guidebook, knowing how much I love history and my endless fascination with documentaries and shows about the world wars. I watched the Senna miniseries because of my love for motorsport documentaries and biographies, and she watched with me because she’s drawn to story depth and emotional connection, something we both revel in whenever we watch films together, whether it’s Ayrton Senna or Big George Foreman, finding the raw beauty of their lives through those roles. She’s also opened me up further to French rap and music, a taste we’ve come to share. Even beyond films and music, her consistency with our gym workout streak has motivated me to stay fit, and I’ve become more intentional, researching healthy meals and hydration because of her. There’s something quietly expansive about how we feed each other’s curiosities, not just in what we discover, but in how we live.

Lately, I’ve discovered that the horizon of what I currently know and what I want to learn has broadened as a ripple effect of having a circle of curious people.

It’s beautiful knowing people in that sense. You never have to say anything; I read something, and there’s a quiet acknowledgment in my mind, saying I know this friend will like this too, and that in itself is a beautiful thing, a relational intimacy that lives in small exchanges and shared curiosity.

These are some of the unspoken, quiet intimacies I’ve always cherished, and I’m beginning to appreciate more in my life. To see people and to be seen.